Closer

I'm amazed how some people learn to get close to another individual. To be familiar and to accept the whole individaulity of a person and to get to know him/her from the outside, deep down to the inside is something (in my opinion) hard to do. You have to do away with whatever (negative) impression you have and just allow yourself to discover every little detail about that person whether you like it or not.

I wish I were the type that just accepts people for who they are. I mean, I know how to accept people (I have a lot of close friends) but when I meet new people, I initially find something bad about them, or if not, I wait for them to do/say something bad and if I catch that, that just crosses him/her out on my list just like that. Whether or not they prove me otherwise, I'd have that thing etched in mind and I don't think I'd be able to forget it..

I know it sounds mean, but maybe I'm just scarred. From my friend's stories of I-love-him-so-much-only-to-find-out-the-next-day-that-I-don't, and from people the I've wrongly been with. It's such a waste of time and effort of being close to someone only for them to tell you they don't want you. Or vise versa. I used to think things like that don't happen, but evidently, they do.

I've learned my lesson, so now I am on guard. I know when to keep my distance.