When there was nothing to remember.
No special moments, no suprises, nor unforgettable promises. All of it was mediocre, to the point that I can predict the words that you will say, the actions that you will do, the mistakes that you will make and most of all - the things that will not happen. In short, I can write in my head the whole story of you - the beggining, the middle, especially the end.
The restrictions you've/we've set ourselves were clearly written. The distance, the number of phone calls, the text messages, the malls and restaurants we go to were all planned and timed. It was fun at first, all the sneaking and running around. Its a game that involves you, me and the rest of the world.
All the while I thought I had the upper hand. I felt like and I thought I was winning, but I wasn't. It was as if somebody pinned me to the wall and humiliated me in front of everybody. Its a feeling I still have, up to this day and something I have to live up with for the rest of my life.
It was the dream I never wanted. Or maybe, I was the dream he never wanted. I sometimes get mixed up between the two but nevertheless, the latter is already realized. And the former? well, I'm still trying to get over the fact that I was never thought of that way.
----------------------------------------------
I was a routine, just the girl in between.
No comments:
Post a Comment